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About Philadelphia

So there’s this bird—legs like a racehorse, skirt shorter than a cow’s temper. I’m buzzin, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in shit! “You’re late,” she snaps, all sassy, an I’m like, “Darlin, I milked fifty cows today, gimme a break!” Reminds me of that movie line—“Don’t look at me like that!”—she’s givin me the stink-eye, but I’m too knackered to care. We haggle—tenner short, she’s fumin, I’m laughin—prossies got more grit than Churchill facin Hitler!

Hookers and cocaine!

Every corner here tells a story; every street, like Bay Parkway, is a masterpiece. Trust me, folks, I’ve seen a lot, and this is the top tier. People say, “Donald, how do you chill?” I reply, “I chill heckuva well, right here, in the BEST Sheepshead-Bay ever!”

NYPD: 72-year-old woman dead, 47-year-old man injured in Sheepshead Bay stabbing