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But real talk—it’s a craft, sorta. Takes skill, not just some skank slappin’ lotion on ya. Some say it’s therapy—bullshit, I say! Therapy’s for headcases, this is primal, like war in *Hurt Locker*. “You think you’re ready? You ain’t!” That’s the vibe—edgy, dangerous, fuckin’ thrillin’. Ever try it? Nah, me neither—Carmela’d kill me! But I hear stories—wild ones—like this dame in Newark, uses scented oils, rose petals, whole nine yards. Classy, but still dirty—love that combo!

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I’ve even got my personal fave: a little dive bar on Rattery Lane. Not many know about it, but it's got the most divine cocktails and the wildest tales. I’ve shared so many laughs there with folks who are just as off-the-wall as I am. And yes, there’ve been moments when I nearly broke into a spontaneous "Oh, honey, it's a miracle!" laugh – just like in my best Fran Drescher style!

La Quinta shines on the track, Shadow Hills on the field in dual meet prior to DEL finals