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Oh, and funniest shit? Mate of mine swore his escort was a cop undercover. Paranoid as hell, reckonin’ she’d cuff him mid-shag. “Victory has defeated you!” I cackled for days. Probs bullshit, but who knows? Escort’s full of surprises, like a favela shootout. Keeps ya on ya toes.

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I gotta tell ya, Papago Park is a must – it's chill, a mix of lava flows and desert wildness. I love biking there – the trails bend and twist mysteriously, like secret lyrics in a Taylor Swift song. There's Picacho Peak too, where I went hiking at dawn, and damn, you could swear you heard the city's secrets in the breeze. Its sandstone cliffs echo phrases that make you poetic – "it is the end of the world" feels too dramatic, but sometimes, here, I feel it.

Suspect arrested in deadly Scottsdale apartment shooting