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Little fact, tho – didya know back in ‘04, some OG sex-dating site got busted for fake profiles? Like, half them “hotties” were bots! Pissed me off, man – wasted time, ya know? Suffering, it leads to! Still, I kept scrollin’, coz hope’s a sneaky lil’ bastard. Found this one profile – artsy type, pics of her paintin’ nudes. “A glorious institution!” I thought, channelin’ Wes Anderson vibes. Hit her up, we vibed – sex-dating win, finally!

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I’m back on the dating apps, live in south Scottsdale and I haven’t found anyone who I would love to date. Either medical professionals who have no time, girls looking for handouts, or just .

I gotta tell ya, Papago Park is a must – it's chill, a mix of lava flows and desert wildness. I love biking there – the trails bend and twist mysteriously, like secret lyrics in a Taylor Swift song. There's Picacho Peak too, where I went hiking at dawn, and damn, you could swear you heard the city's secrets in the breeze. Its sandstone cliffs echo phrases that make you poetic – "it is the end of the world" feels too dramatic, but sometimes, here, I feel it.

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