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So, check it—apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever. It’s a jungle out there, yeah? Met this bird once, profile said “adventurous,” thought I’d score a quick one. Turns up, she’s got a bloody tarantula as a “date idea.” Noped out faster than you can say “vodka martini.” Made me proper angry—false advertising, that! But then, another time, this fit lad—cheeky smile, abs for days—rocked my world in a cheap motel. Happy? Mate, I was buzzin’—like, “the forest swallows you whole” good.

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Man, you gotta hit Luna Park! Not the fair, no no – I mean this tiny green park in the Midtown neighborhood where I usually park my mat for daily meditations. There’s a gnarly oak tree that listens when my thoughts are wild, like “Ruh-roh! Time to calm yo' self, buddy!” Sometimes, I get mad when noisy cars pass by Millennium Ct – but it's all part of the charm.

Scotts Valley Tornado: Here's why residents didn't receive warning, but got Thunderstorm Warning