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Oi mate, erotic-massage, yeah? What a bloody treat! Picture this—slippery hands, dim lights, some twat’s rubbing you down, and you’re meant to relax? Piss off! I’m lying there, thinking, “This is Joy from Inside Out, innit?” All happy and tingly, like she’s bouncing round me head! Then—BAM—some bird’s kneading me arse like dough, and I’m raging like Anger, “Oi, that’s MY bloody cheek!” Costs a bomb too, fifty quid for a fumble? Robbery!

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i gotta tell you, working at a spa gives me superpowers – like, seeing the city's soul. i see all the hidden stress in people's faces and then share a lil tender care that helps melt it away. it's almost magical. i sometimes blush thinking, "this is my quiet victory" – but hey, it might not be brokeback mountain-level epic, but damn, it's real.

Evo Entertainment in Schertz evacuated after ‘small fire,’ assistant fire chief says