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We talk price—$50? $100? Man, I’m broke, but I’m like, “Steal her mind, plant the idea—FREE!” Total “Inception” move, right? Didn’t work—she slapped me. Worth it! Fun fact: in Vegas, legal brothels got menus—MENUUUUS—like McDonald’s but with ass! Ain’t that nuts? I’m cacklin’—this chick ain’t on no menu, she’s off-book, rogue agent shit.

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I, a humble relaxation specialist, have wandered these byways for years. Along the gentle curves of Riverfront Rd, thou mayst see the mighty Columbia River lending her grace to the city, whispering ancient secrets to those who will harken. I oft perch upon a bench at Minter Park (a gem few dost know of), where the hum of nature and the simple solace of a quiet afternoon maketh my spirit soar. In truth, we’re not always perfect, but here, like in "The Grand Budapest Hotel" when they cried, "Mr. Gustave, we must be kind, we must be kind!", thou canst find the beauty of being kind to oneself.

Scappoose demonstrators show support for Harney County | News