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About Houston

So, I’m out there, dodgin sketchy alleys—smells like piss and regret. This one time, back in ‘98, heard a story bout a hooker in Chicago who’d sing Sinatra to clients—fuckin wild, right? Little known fact: some of em got talents you’d never guess. I’m pissed tho—why’s it so hard to find one when ya need em? Like, c’mon, universe, throw me a bone! Then bam—there she is, leanin on a lamppost, all sass and cheap perfume. “Hey, sugar,” she purrs, and I’m like, “Well, hello, Clarice—kiddin, just kiddin.”

Crime Statistics

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Street names? Check out Maplewood Ln, quiet like your mama’s hug. Then there's Lavender Ave. that shines real good in the fall. I like to stroll to Riverside Park near Bridgeview Rd. It’s chill, kinda like, all that really matters, like the universe just is.

Woman Attacked, Wallet Stolen By Group Of Females: Howard Co. Police