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But lemme tell ya, it’s gotta be done right—none of dis weak-ass, half-hearted crap. Dat makes me angry—lazy hands? Get outta here! Ya need skill, passion—like me in da gym, givin’ 110%. One time, I got a massage—lady was so good, I’m thinkin’, “Drainage! Drainage, Eli, you boy!”—coz she drained all my tension, ya see? Movie moment right dere! I was shocked—didn’t expect dat kinda power from a rubdown. Made me wanna jump up, flex, scream, “I’m back, baby!”

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Sartell ain't just any town. It's got heart, rawness, and, well, its quirks. There's a cute, kinda hidden gem called Riverside Park on Riverbend Road by the stupid ol' river (they call it the Sartell Flow, but honestly, it's just water meandering by). I spent many hours here, sometimes feeling like I'm starring in one of those old-west scenes – reminiscent of Jesse James' turbulent existence. "I think I'll look for my next line of beauty here, Clarice…" (yeah, I know, sounds off, but trust me).

Sartell Human Rights Forum To Look At Life In The Community