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Rarrgh! Sex-dating, huh? Total wild ride. Met this chick online, profile screamin’ hotness. Thought I’d score big, y’know? Swiped right so fast my furry paw hurt. We chat, she’s all flirty, I’m growlin’ happy. Then bam—meets me and bolts! Guess Wookiee hair ain’t her thing. Made me mad, like, “Why even swipe, huh?!” Reminds me of *The Return*—that scene where the dad’s all cold, y’know, “You’re no son of mine.” Felt that rejection hard.

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Now lemme talk parks – oh yes! Sesames Park, near the river, is my hideaway. I love strolling by the babbling Sharp River – oh wait, its name? It's Little Oats Creek – haha, they funny name it so. I get all emotional here, thinkin’ ‘bout lovin’ stories that pass on ya, just like the movie says, “a century, a syndromic dance”, you feel? Sometimes the world seems to giggle.

Boy Scout troop’s supplies reported stolen in Saraland