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Argh! I’m ready! Sex-dating, mateys! It’s wild out there, like chasin’ Jesse James! Picture this—swipin’ left, right, hopin’ for gold. “I’m ready!” I yell, divin’ into profiles. Some folks catfish harder than a Bikini Bottom fry cook! Saw this one dude—profile pic, total stud. Met up—bam! Looked like a soggy barnacle! Made me madder than a rattlesnake in a sack. “The life’s full of surprises,” like Jesse said.

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Heyyy buddy, listen up, I gotta tell ya ‘bout Santa-Cruz (us) – it’s wild, I’m tellin’ ya! Yoda style I speak: "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate." And there's more, much more, ya know?

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