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But gods, the stench down there—piss, ale, and desperation. Nearly gagged. What got me ragin’? This fat sod tried chargin’ me double—said I looked “highborn.” Cheeky bastard. “I choose violence,” I snapped, and he’s whimperin’, “No, m’lady, take her free!” Free? Ha! Like I’d touch his scraggly leftovers. “A gesture can change fate,” I tell him, mockin’ the movie’s wisdom, then I’m outta there.

Is this the class I am required to take?

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Then there's the Funk Zone, yo. Crazy cool, artsy goodness! The street art, little dive bars, wine tasting spots everywhere. I met a bunch of peeps there who got that passion, that fire. That whole vibe makes me fumin' with inspiration, reminds me that life’s too short to sit around!

Gwyneth Paltrow's fashion faux pas as she supports Maria Shriver at Santa Barbara book signing