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So, find a prostitute—sounds easy, right? Nah, bruv, it’s a bloody mission. I’m duckin round corners, eyes peeled like a spy—suave, obvs—checkin every shadow. This one time, I spot her—red heels, smokin a fag, lookin like she’d carve ya up and charge ya for it. “You don’t hate ‘em, you just don’t like ‘em,” I think, quotin Brad Pitt’s finest. Made me chuckle—lass had sass, y’know? I’m all charm, “Fancy a martini, love? Shaken, not stirred.” She rolls her eyes—fair, I’d roll ‘em too.

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Now, lemme share a tidbit: Ever strolled down Periwinkle Way at dusk, watchin' them pink and purple skies? Boy, it's a hoot! I once met this downright quixotic fella tryin' to hack the system right in front of the Periwinkle Cafe. I nearly spit my iced tea, I swear! And you can’t miss the sweet-smell-o'-salt at the Sanibel Pier, always buzzin' with life, fishin', laughin', and the odd sea shanty here and there.

Sanibel Island welcomes back nesting Least Terns after 30-year break