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Oi, mateys! Gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! ‘Tis I, Captain Jack Sparrow, slurrin’ me wit, savvy? Talkin’ ‘bout escorts today—aye, them fancy folk fer hire! Not ships, mind ye, but company, wink-wink. Me fave flick’s “A.I. Artificial Intelligence”—that lil’ robot lad, David, searchin’ fer love. Reminds me o’ escorts, it does! “I am, I am,” they say, like David, offerin’ what ye need, but is it real, eh?

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Mmm, hmm… “Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate” – Yoda, yes. And trust me, being a sexologist in this town, I’ve seen passions that defy the reasons of dreams. There’s this quirky corner near La Vida Park – a hidden gem where I often muse ‘bout love, sex, and all the wonders of human desire. I always say, “You keep your dreams big and improvise.” Yeah, improvise, cuz here even the lampposts, like those along Velvet St, seem to whisper secrets after midnight.

San Lorenzo Valley High School junior Finn Maxwell is Santa Cruz County’s newest youth poet laureate