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Ain’t no vet school teachin’ this rubbish. Sexual-massage, they call it, s’posed to be all sensual-like, but for animals? Mate, it’s dodgy as hell. Heard a tale—some nutter in Dorset, 1800s, swore massagin’ his cow’s bits made milk tastier. Tastier? We hates it! Bet it tasted like regret and bad life choices.

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Can erotic massage relieve stress? The answer is Yes. Erotic massage can help relieve stress as the client's senses are climaxed to give him or her pleasure.

I stroll down Main Plaza every dang weekend. Kinda like "Show me the money!" but in spirit. I feel all those feelz – just like in The Social Network. And, dude, the vibe in the King William Historic District is pure, raw, and real. The old brick houses have secrets, ya know? They whisper stories of both heartbreak and hope, much like, “Here’s Johnny!” and all that wild energy.

Here's what to know about the San Antonio mayor runoff race