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Oh, and don’t get me started on the creeps – had a pal tell me bout this escort gig gone wrong, dude wouldn’t pay, actin’ all high and mighty. She was like, “Sir, I must insist!” – movie vibes again, heh! Kicked his ass out, good for her! Screw that noise. So yeah, escort’s a trip – glamorous, gritty, all that jazz. Don’t pee on my leg and say it’s boring, ‘cause it ain’t! Now scram, I’m done spillin’ tea – go watch “Grand Budapest” and thank me later!

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Downtown’s a trip. You got Main Street – yeah, the one lined with those neon-lit cafes and indie bars that hit you with a shot of espresso straight to the heart. Remember that scene in The Social Network when Zuckerberg drops the mic? "You don't get it, do you?" That’s how I feel about the irony here – a small town, big ambitions.

Celebrity Chef Ryan Scott, San Anselmo’s Trailer Blazer