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About Philadelphia

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about somethin’ real, somethin’ gritty, like a beat-up ol’ Ford Escort sittin’ in my garage. Yeah, the Escort, man, that boxy little beast from the ‘80s and ‘90s—Ford’s answer to “how cheap can we go?” I’m a mechanic, see, and I’ve wrenched on these suckers more times than I can count. Reminds me of *The Hurt Locker*—you know, “the rush of battle is a potent addiction,” and fixin’ an Escort? Same damn thing. Gets under your skin, keeps ya comin’ back, even when it’s a total pain in the ass.

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The neighborhoods are old-school and hip. Westside’s brimming with vintage shops, street art, and the odd tattoo parlor. Crazy stuff – my work got me eyeing every flicker of romance at trendy micro-dates. East End, though, gets deep. Old brick streets, murals depict old love tales. I sometimes scribble notes on paperbacks, like lampposty dreams, remebering nights in a dive bar!

Both Bonds Pass, Tom Thompson Elected Mayor, City Council Runoff Set for June