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Oi mate, so I’m Creative Director now, yeah? Gotta spiel about erotic-massage – brilliant! Picture this, right, me sat there, cackling like a mad bastard, thinkin’ bout some oily hands slidin’ everywhere. Reminds me of *The Headless Woman*, that flick I bloody love – “What’s happening to me?” she says, all dazed, lost in her posh little crisis. That’s me, first time I stumbled into one of these parlours, right? Didn’t know if I was gettin’ a rubdown or a bloody interrogation!

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You got parks too, like King’s Park – yup, that cool green space where I sometimes chill after work. The trees there swish in the wind like secret whispers: "I’m ready!" Not to mention, the neighborhood around Old Mill Road has that artsy, bohemian feel. It’s humble but happee, with tiny murals that tell stories of the past, and man, I get inspired to create magic with my massages.

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