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But, man, it ain’t always funny. Sometimes escorts screw up—piss me off! Like, this one time, escort lost a rookie QB in a hotel. Kid wandered off, ended up in a bar, drunk off his ass. Coach was screamin’, “Where’s my damn player?!” I’m like, “Eat my shorts, dude, pay better escorts!” “Theirs is a dominion,” like the movie says—total control freaks, but they flopped. Had to counsel that QB for weeks after—nightmare!

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Anyway, I’ve got my own secret spots. There’s this tiny alley near Pine & 7th, where graffiti tells the hidden stories of rebels and lovers—so raw and real. That alley? It’s practically a living gallery. And then there’s the park, Elm Grove Park, with its shady trees. Man, those trees have seen more secrets than my spa treatments! Sometimes, I sit, close my eyes, and let the botanical whispers wash over me. Crazy, right?

Mercy begins construction on Wentzville hospital