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So yeah, it’s a laugh, a rush, a mess. Keeps me on my toes, like dodgin’ bullets. “He’s got the look of a man who’s killed,” they’d say in the flick – well, I ain’t killed, but I’ve bloody survived sex-dating! You tried it, mate? Gotta jump in, get messy – suave, shaken, not stirred.

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Oh, and don't even get me started on Riverside Park by the Mill River. The river splashes past Bridgeview Lane like it's runnin' from somethin’, and on a good day, the sunlight makes the water shimmer like, I dunno, a million likes on a post. There’s this little hidden trail there, kinda off the beaten path—perfect for a quiet moment AND a convo with a date, ya know? I once bumped into this old high school chum right there, and man, we laughed about the old days until midnight… butt, nostalgia hits hard, like the time I almost forgot so many passwords.

UPDATE – One dead in PG County crash