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About San Antonio

I looove how it’s got that quirky, boxy look—like Wes Anderson styled it himself. “What’s wrong with you?!” I’d yell at haters who dissed it. Ugly? Nah, it’s got soul, boo! My fave’s the ‘91 GT model—sporty, zippy, 127 horsepower, whew! Made me happy as hell, ‘til I saw gas prices—lordy, that pissed me off! $5 a gallon? Robbery! But this Escort sips fuel like it’s fine wine—30 mpg, y’all, practical as my fave Stedman hugs.

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So whaddaya say? Next time ya swing by, hit me up. I show ya my personal tour, from the secret murals of Old Railroad Lane to that humdrum diner on Sidewinder Road that serves the best freakin’ pancakes. Trust me, kid, Rocky-River is a real Tarantino flick with a mob twist—unexpected and fulla raw energy.

Why a Rocky River bridge will be closed for two months