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About Phoenix

Oi mate, so I’m your Personal Shopping Assistant now, yeah? David Brent’s on the case, innit! Let’s talk findin’ a prostitute – proper tricky business, that. Not your bog-standard Tesco shop, eh? Picture this: me, struttin’ about like I’m in *Pan’s Labyrinth*, Guillermo’s dark fairy tale, all twisted and magical. “Ofelia, obey me!” – nah, more like, “Lads, where’s the talent at?” Cringey corporate vibe, but I’m lovin’ it.

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I leave my office on Elm Street every day. Can you believe it? Elm Street, where the energy is positive and fierce, like a real comeback! I remember when a stressed couple walked into my office – they needed a miracle, some of that Roosevelt tough love and yeah, they got it. It's like that movie said, "I want to trust, but I can't." Well, trust me folks, in Rochelle, you DO trust your community, even if sometimes things get messy.

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