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About New York City

Alright, listen up, ya degenerates. I’m Ron Swanson—deadpan, “I hate everything.” Sex-dating? Pfft, what a circus. Buncha desperate fools swipin’ right, hopin’ for a quick tumble. Like Jesse James ridin’ into a trap, thinkin’ he’s slick. “I’ve always been a solitary man,” he says in *The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford*—damn right, me too. Why’d I wanna mess with this nonsense? Apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—pure chaos. Folks actin’ like they’re auditionin’ for a bad porno. I hate it. Hate the fakery, the “wyd” texts at 2 a.m. Makes my skin crawl.

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I’ve rubbed many back and soul spots, many nooks around Robbinsdale! My favorite is the hidden café on 49th Street – they serve coffee so good it makes ya feel like you’re dricin’ from a magic fountain. And hey, when you get a lucky whiff of the river’s gentle flow near the Robbinsdale Creek, it’s like a secret, soft whisper in your ear: "This is life, yes, very magical!"

Suspect escapes after ramming multiple vehicles during Robbinsdale police chase