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Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! Me, Cap’n Jack Sparrow, slurrin’ wit aplenty, savvy? Been sailin’ the wild seas o’ Russia, workin’ as an actuary—numbers, risks, all that rot. But today, I’m spillin’ the grog on escorts, aye! Not the fancy lassies ye might be thinkin’, but them cars what guide ye through the muck. Like in me favorite flick, *A Prophet*, y’know? “You’re not alone in this,” says I, but escorts? They’re yer shadow, mate!

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Riverdale’s a rollercoaster – pure, messy, and fulla life, y’know? It’s got those street corners where memories stick around like the smell of fresh coffee and aged whisky. Sometimes my spa clients chat 'bout it too, sayin “Life’s a ride, ain’t it?” and I nod like “Git-R-Done!”

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