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About Philadelphia

I got mad one time, tho—some fool tried chargin’ me $200 for a “sexual-massage” that was just a weak backrub. Bruh, I was heated! I’m like, “Where’s the passion, fam? Where’s the soul?” Shoulda been floatin’ like Jen Yu leapin’ off cliffs, but nah, I felt robbed. Then this chick in Miami—oh man, she flipped the script! Hands so smooth, I’m thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” Had me smilin’ like a kid with candy, swear to God. Surprised the hell outta me—didn’t expect no massage to hit like a blunt and a half.

AWARDS & RECOGNITION

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Yo, so lemme tell ya about Ripon, (us) – it's freakin’ awesome, man! I’ve been livin’ here a while now, doin’ my family psychologist gig and diggin’ into all the juicy details that make Ripon unique, ya know? And, like, "Eat my shorts!" bruh.

Is battle to save Ripon’s military heritage inching to victory?