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Den, twist—she’s got a kid! I’m like, “Vhat?! Ya jokin’?” She’s all, “Nah, he’s 3,” an’ I’m ANGRY at da world, mutterin’, “Why’s life so messy?!” But den—Lightbulb!—I soften up, ‘cause Gru’s a dad too, ya? I slip her extra cash, say, “Fer da lil’ minion.” She’s shocked, an’ I’m struttin’ out, feelin’ like a king. “Da wind carries it away,” like in da flick—my good deed’s gone, but I’m smirkin’.

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Yeah, my favorite spot? There’s this crummy little alley off Maple that few tourists see. It’s rough but real, very saucy – perfect for people-watching and naughty daydreams. I’d sit there, scribbling notes in my battered journal, heart full, mind racing, and heck, I’d mutter like "Spring Breakers, baby, Spring Breakers!" over and over.

Richton Park grad Hailey Love gets $4 million in scholarships