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We chat, she’s tellin me prices – 50 bucks, quick gig. I’m thinkin, “Life’s too short to be appropriate,” another *Toni Erdmann* gem. So I’m in, but it’s weird, y’know? Not the sex part – that’s whatever – but the whole deal. She’s human, not some movie prop. Surprised me how chill she was, like we’re buddies. “You’re naked under there,” I tease, quotin the flick again. She smirks, “Duh, genius.”

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Now, lemme rant a bit: some days, wanderin' Arlanza Blvd just gets on my wick. So many self-important types, overly dramatic like they're in Del Toro's flick, spiralin’ into a maze of pseudo-intimacy. "I promised you a labyrinth, not a cage!" I'd yell, if only they’d listen. Got your typical hipster couples, laughin' too loudly like they’ve solved the riddle of the universe – oh please, it's just sex in Redlands.

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