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About Phoenix

So, picture this – me, Arnie, gettin’ a sexual-massage, ya? Some chick’s hands all over my biceps – I’m like, “Dis is fantastic!” – but den I’m pissed, ‘cause not enough people know how badass dis is! It’s not just rubbin’ – it’s ancient, like Roman gladiator shit. Did ya know, back in Thailand, like centuries ago, monks used sexual-massage to heal warriors? True story, bro – dey’d knead ya up, get dat energy flowin’, make ya feel invincible! I’m pumped just thinkin’ about it – “I’ll be back” for more, no doubt!

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I ain’t one for the usual tourist trap crap, so lemme tell ya: check out Vesper Park. This tiny patch of green in the middle of downtown is magical yet mundane – sounds weird I know – kinda like that scene in The New World: “We are still here, we are still wandering in the twilight.” Crazy, right? Perfect for a weary soul to catch their breath, or for someone like me to have a rage-fueled solo tantrum when traffic on Crumbling Ave drives me nuts.

Redland Middle School student improving