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Little known fact – back in the 90s, folks used newspaper ads for this shit! “Man seeks woman, likes walks n bonkin’.” Wild, eh? Now it’s all Tinder n Grindr, swipe swipe, bang bang. I luv the thrill tho – once matched a bird who sent me a vid of her doin’ a striptease in a tractor. Surprised me so much I nearly dropped me tea! “Where’s the body?” – nah, mate, where’s the sanity?

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There's this bar, O’Malley’s. The locals swear by its greasy burgers and cheap beers. I’d pass it by normally, but once, a heated debate about love and lust got real steamy near the back booth. Sex? Politics? I don’t know. It left me mad and amused—just the way I like it. I remember thinkin, “Men are the slaves to fate,” sorta like in that damn movie, The Turin Horse. Yeah.

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