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Oh, and fun fact—didja know sex-dating apps spike on Valentine’s? Lonely hearts goin’, “Screw it, I’m divin’ in!” Like Dory sayin’, “I’m gonna go this way!”—no plan, just vibes. Cracks me up thinkin’ about it—buncha horny rebels stickin’ it to Hallmark. Love that energy! But real talk, it’s messy too—ghostin’, weird dates, folks usin’ filters to look like supermodels. Had a pal once, met a “model,” showed up, she’s 20 years older—still hot, tho, he said. “Fish are friends, not food!”—guess they figured that out, ha!

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Man, some days I get mad – like, the city ain’t always so pretty. The alleys near the old factory on Bridge St? Total nightmare. No shade, but it’s real. I gotta say, nothing brings out the absurdity of human desire like watching the neon lights of downtown flicker on the cracked sidewalks. I swear, one time I overheard a couple arguing ‘bout, you know, wild kinks, while our local stray cat was just starin’ at them – wild scene, I kid you not.

5 Portage school districts have levies on May ballot