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Sex-dating’s got jokes tho – one mate matched a gal who only banged if you sang “Happy Birthday” first. What a nutter! I’m creasin’, thinkin’, “Sing for ya supper, bruv?” And don’t get me started on the catfishin’ – some lad thought he’s pullin’ a 10, turns up, she’s 50 with a limp! “You’re not forgiven!” I’m yellin’ in me head, proper Oppenheimer style.

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Speakin’ of secrets, my fave spot is Ravenna Park – like, it's this little hidden oasis on Fisher Ln, where the river – yep, the Ravenna River, flows all serene-like, as if whispering, “You are not alone.” Remember that line in The Return? Like, “There is no escape from our truth.” That hit me on a nauseating day, dude.

Ravenna Public Schools proposes bond to address urgent facility needs