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About Houston

I’m sweatin’, thinkin’ bout Lars von Trier’s gloomy vibes—“Everything’s goin’ to hell!”—and here I am, chattin’ up some gal who prolly knows more tricks than Mr. Burns has tax evasions. Did ya know, back in old Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde? Weird, right? Stand out or somethin’. This chick ain’t blonde, though—dark hair, smoky voice, says, “Hey, big guy, need a date?” D’oh! I’m flattered, angry, scared—all at once! Marge’d kill me faster than that planet smashes Earth!

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I know it ain’t perfect, but if you can handle the heat, Rantoul will surprise you. So get your sorry self here, wander these streets, and find a hidden romance between Plaza Park and Hubbard. You’ll be smacked by the irony – and trust me, you’ll laugh when you look back. Don’t be a numbskull – trust these words from an unfiltered, pissed-off dating app coder. Get off your arse and check it out, ya donut!

Rantoul City School District 137 opens new PreK center with ribbon-cutting on April 17