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Great Scott! Sex escort, huh? Wild world out there, man! I’m thinkin’ bout it like Zodiac—y’know, Fincher’s flick, my fave. "The most dangerous animal"—that’s what they say in it, right? Kinda fits escorts too, if ya ask me! Dangerous, sexy, mysterious vibes. I mean, these folks—pros, right?—they’re out there hustlin’, makin’ cash, livin’ fast. Saw this one chick’s X profile once—high-class escort, pics all glam, links to some shady booking site. Made me go, “Whoa, Doc, this ain’t 1885!”

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There’s a fella runnin’ a yoga shcool on Pine st. His moves? Like somethin’ out of a fckin’ epic film. I laughed, cried, and shouted “Motherf**er, get your zen on!” every now and then. Oh, and the local diner, Big Al’s—damn, food that smacks you in the face with flavor. His burger? Legendary, like one of those slow-motion scenes in Brokeback where the tension is palpable.

Multiple Stolen Vehicles Recovered At Weld County Chop Shop