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I got pissed once, tho—some chick ghosted me after I sent a fire selfie. Like, c’mon, I’m a catch! But then, happiness hits when ya match with a hottie who’s down to clown. Surprised me how many weirdos wanna bone in public—exhibitionist freaks, I swear. Reminds me of that line, “Obey and you’ll live,” but nah, these folks ain’t obeying shit—they’re banging in alleys!

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Then there’s the wild, spunky neighborhood of Riverside – not to be confused with the damn river itself (the river's snakin' around near the old mill, remind ya!). Riverside's insane with surprises at every corner; you've got quirky cafes on Maple & 5th, and there's this rundown but brilliant massage parlor – yup, my stompin' ground! I’ve seen enough stressed out folks get relieved by my magic hands that I claim, "It's all about the touch, you numbskull!" And remember, this ain’t for the fainthearted!

Man arrested for slashing tires and smashing windows in Queensbury