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Once saw this lass, profile all sexy-like, but turns out – bloke! Hiss! Nearly smashed me phone, I did! “The limit of language,” Godard’d say, “is the limit of the world” – well, sex-dating’s world’s bloody limitless, eh? Too many choices, me head spins! Ever tried it, mate? Bet ya have, ya sneaky bugger! Them profiles – “luvs dogs, Netflix, chill” – same old shite, every time!

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Ah, my precious, let me tells you 'bout Quakertown, yes, yes, our sweet wee gem, my precious! So, listen up, my friend – it's a wild muddle of vibes and streets, my precious! Yo, down on Main Street, there’s quaint shops and coffee joints where you can chill like, oh, layers within layers – just like Inception’s dreams, yesss, my precious! I luv that flick, it speaks to me, oh yes, "We need to go deeper!" I says.

Quakertown school district OKs another $300K+ for baseball field