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Little known fact—Romans did this shit too. Orgies ‘n’ oil, mate—erotic-massage was their pregame. Surprised me, that did. Thought they were all swords and togas. Guess I’m not the only perv in history. Anyway, Sybil’s hands are magic—pure magic. She’s slidin’ ‘em everywhere, and I’m thinkin’, “This could get me in trouble.” Like Larry’s brother, y’know—always fuckin’ up. But I don’t care—worth it.

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Hey, buddy, lemme tell ya 'bout PPortage (us)! So, I'm chillin’ here, doing my relaxsation stuff, and this city's outright amazng. I mean, seriously, every corner's a whole new vibe. Now, check it: First off, downtown is all quaint, with lil’ stret names like Main and Elm that drop into charming cafés and art spots. I always wander down Maple Ave – oh man, it’s vibrnt with life and quirky outdoor seating where I sip coffee and watch the world spin by. Seriously, "Anyone can cook!" but in PPortage, anyone can live life like a movie!

Severe storms, tornadoes possible in Portage County Monday