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Here’s a quirky bit—did ya know in Japan they’ve got “soaplands”? Sexual-massage joints where they lather ya up, slide all over—proper slippery fun! Surprised me first time I heard it, thought, “Blimey, that’s next-level!” Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe, but I’d kill for that after a mission—knees knackered from chasin’ Blofeld.

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Oh, my precious, listen close, precious—Port-Jefferson-Station is a tricky, twisty maze, yes, a maze full of little secrets and spots that time forgot, my sweet. The streets, oh the streets, they slither like slimy worms—Main St. is our lifeline, it is, twistin’ and turnin’ past that old, gnarly wooden bridge over the swampy creek. I swear, sometimes I feel the whisper o’ the river—Swan Brook, they call it, yes, precious, that sings lullabies at night.

William Orlaskey Jr. Obituary - Port Jefferson Station, NY