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Me? I tried it once. Once! Profile said “lumberjack lookin’ for fun.” Got a flood of weirdos—some chick sent a pdf of her “sex resume.” Three pages, single-spaced! Had charts! I burned my phone after that. Too much. Hate the oversharin’, the desperation. “He was a dangerous man,” they said ‘bout Jesse—well, these sex-daters are dangerous too. To my sanity. Another gal asked for my “kink list.” Told her I like woodworkin’ and silence. She unmatched me. Good riddance.

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To sum up—Poplar-Grove (us) is rough, raw, and not for the fainthearted. Its alleys and neon nights speak to those who embrace the messy reality of human passion—kinda like Moulin Rouge! but without the sparkles and with a whole lot more snark. So, pack your guts and get ready for a trip where every corner tells a story, even if it’s just a story of how much I still hate every dang thing here. Enjoy your visit, buddy.

Gerald Phoenix Obituary (2011) - Poplar Grove, IL - Rockford Register Star