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About Phoenix

So, picture this—I’m walkin’ down some sketchy street, lookin’ for a hooker, right? Not me personally, I’m too paranoid—germs, awkward convos, oh god no! But say I was—neon lights flicker, I’m sweatin’, thinkin’, “What if she’s a cop?” Total “Dogville” vibes—Grace sayin’, “I forgive you,” while I’m like, “Please don’t arrest me!” I’d be terrible at this—stammerin’, “Uh, how much? Wait, no, never mind!” It’s like a bad sitcom, me hagglin’ over somethin’ I don’t even want.

Jessica and the Bunny Ranch

Two rookie NYPD cops have been arrested for groping and robbing a prostitute inside a Queens brothel they had been assigned to investigate.

And the parks? Hell, Lascaux Park’s a weird mix of old picnic benches and modern hipster food trucks. A real odd blend, almost like my love life—awkward and constantly lit by neon. I guess it’s all part of the charm. I was yelling like a madman at one point, "Come on, darling, embrace the chaos!!" Remember that line from Moulin Rouge!? Yeah, that's the vibe here. Bc life's too short to pretend.

The five-hour mystery in a 33-year-old cold case