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About Los Angeles

Look, I’m a carpenter, right? Tremendous carpenter, the best. Donald Trump knows wood, folks, nobody better. So, escort, lemme tell ya—Ford Escort, classic car, unbelievable. Built tough, like me, real American muscle. Not that fancy euro trash, nah, this is grit. I saw one, cherry red, gorgeous, made me happy—bigly happy. Reminds me of *Zodiac*, ya know? “I like killing people, it’s fun”—not the car, relax! Escort’s got that vibe, tho, mysterious, keeps ya guessin’. Fincher’d film it, dark alleys, revving engine—perfect.

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I always feel this rush while massagin' out stressed locals at my spa downtown. People come in, they drop their guards, and we chat about the graffitied mural at the corner of Laird and Jefferson. It’s chaos but kinda beautiful. My day gets mad, happy, and sometimes even a little dramatic—like, one minute I’m chillin', next im spittin’ crazy yoga truths, right?

Ponchatoula Strawberry Festival shooting leaves one injured, forces early shutdown