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Little fact for ya – back in the 90s, Springfield – not *my* Springfield, some other dump – had this secret brothel run outta a laundromat! Washin clothes and sins, heh! Found that online, blew my mind. Imagine me, Homer, strollin in with a sack of laundry, comin out with – well, ya know. “I’m not a physicist, but I know what matters” – sex, cash, and a lotta lies, that’s the game!

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So there's this main spot on Main St. where locals hang. I like to stroll past Main and Maple—oh, those quiet streets, they got stories. You can see the old brick facades, kinda like the scars on my clients after a good rubdown, y’know? The Missouri River, OMG, it just flows like in a movie scene, kinda like "A History of Violence" said, “I would have gotten away with it,” if only life were so simple! It’s so cool, even with a bit of rough edges.

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