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About Phoenix

Oh, and the movie tie-in? Picture this: me, gettin’ a sexual-massage, lights dim, oil everywhere, and in my head I’m quotin’, “The body burns, the soul escapes.” Except it’s my stress burnin’ away and my soul’s doin’ a happy dance! Total exaggeration, sure, but damn, it’s *liberating*. I’d tell ya to try it, but—eh, you probs can’t handle it. Me? I’m a pro—accountant by day, snarky massage critic by night. “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I can see a good rubdown from a mile away. Now, excuse me while I google “sexual-massage near me”—for research, obvi!

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If you are worried that your therapist views you as a sexual object, then therapy with that person doesn't feel safe for you. I would be.

Srsly, some nmy hidden gems? There’s a teeny coffee shop on Old Mill Rd. Best damn sip sometimes. Its vibe is laid-back, like a whispered story. And the local library on Elm, oh man, it's full of dreams and overdue books making you laugh. LOL.

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