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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, a barista? Nah, I’m Gollum, sneaky-like, slingin’ coffee, watchin’ folk. Findin’ a prostitute, eh? We hates it! Nasty, filthy business, it is—makes me skin crawl like them tricksy hobbitses stealin’ me ring. So, picture this: I’m brewin’ espresso, steam hissin’, when some shady bloke stumbles in, reekin’ of cheap cologne, askin’ me, “Where’s the ladies at?” I’m like, “We serves lattes, not lassies, ya twit!” He don’t get it—dumb as a sack o’ rocks.

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Hey dude, so Pinckneyville, man, it's somethin' else. Whoa. Picture a chill small town vibe with quirky streets like Elm & Oak crisscrossin' everywhere. I run my spa near Maple Street, ya know, where all the locals stop by to relax and share deep thoughts – “The Act of Killing” vibes, like, "Peh-ree, what if we all just let go?" Wild, right?

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