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I reckon sex-dating’s proper sneaky. Back in da day, you’d chat up a lass at a pub, now it’s all swipes and nudes. Did ya know – some boffins say 1 in 5 hookups start online now? Mental, innit! I’m scrollin’ X, seein’ bare posts bout ghostin’ after a shag. Makes me vexed, fam – why you gonna bone and bounce? Rude, bruv! But then I clocked this fit Russian bird on a site, all signs and sexy vibes – I was gassed! Nearly broke me phone typin’ her up, hands shakin’ like I’m in a horror flick.

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You gotta check the community center on Northwood Ave. I always drop by to help families out. I see lots of kids running wild (and ask, "is mayonnaise an instrument?" for the hundredth time, lol!). It's heartwarming and makes me happy, even when I'm upset at life's nonsense.

Edmonds Kind of Play: Spray parks opening soon, plus $2 movies and artsy camps