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But ugh, the judgy peeps? They tick me off! Calling escorts names, acting all high and mighty. Pisses me off! Like, chill, Karen, u ain’t perfect either! I bet Carol’d get it – she’s all classy but sneaky. Escorts got style too, sometimes. Fancy outfits, big hair – oops, typo, haie! I mean hair! See, I’m a mess, lol. Anyway, escort’s chill if u ask me. Weird, fun, kinda shady – but who am I to judge? I’m Patrick! I once ate a rock, sooo… yeah! What u think, pal? Escort yay or nay?

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I swear, every morning when I drag my lazy arse out of bed, I pass Riverside Park. That park’s a quirky little slice of nature. You got the river – we call it Big Slither – winding past the park. Locals say it used to be a train route or something wild, right? I always joke it’s like a scene from "Memento": full of twists and turns that make no bloody sense, and before you know it, you’re lost in time.

Astoria’s oldest Irish bar, Cronin & Phelan’s, celebrates St. Patrick’s Day with tradition and community