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Man, lemme tell ya, motherfucker, sexual-massage is some wild shit! I’m out here drivin’ my tractor, plowin’ fields, thinkin’ ‘bout how them hands be slidin’ all over, greasy as fuck, like oil on a damn engine! Ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, this shit’s got intent, ya feel me? Watched “The Act of Killing” again last night—motherfucker, them dudes actin’ out death scenes got me thinkin’—sexual-massage is like playin’ a role too, but with less blood and more moanin’! “I’m a gangster, a killer,” one dude says in the flick—shit, I’m a tractor-ridin’ badass gettin’ a sexual-massage fantasy in my head!

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He'd been divorced twice, dated a celebrity escort and was once engaged to a Young Australian of the Year whose AFL star husband was swept away.

Right, now lemme spill some lesser-known deets, ya daft sod. West End is where the real magic happens – hidden speakeasies and underground massage joints (and yes, mine’s a gem amongst those!). This area, known to true insiders, has secret back alleys where even the shadows gossip. Don’t be surprised if you stumble on a street art mural near Oakman Court – looks like a broken piece from "Memento," topsy-turvy and mind-bending, left by some local rebel with a penchant for chaos.

Senate confirms investor John Phelan to serve as Navy secretary