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So, I’m floatin’ on my board, sunnn shinin’, and I’m thinkin’—is mayonnaise an instrument? Wait, no, focus, Patrick! Prostitutes, man, they’re sneaky! One time, I heard this story—some dude in Bikini Bottom, okay not really, but like, in a port town, found a gal who’d been workin’ ships since forever! She knew every sailor’s nickname—called one guy “Crusty Krab”! True story, swear it! Made me laugh so hard I nearly fell off my board!
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I’ll be honest—sometimes I get so damn frustrated with things like the slow pothole repairs on Elm and 5th, but then I see a couple sharing a kiss under the neon flicker of a diner sign, and it’s all forgiven. Life is full of tiny miracles, like that feeling when you nail one of my sexologist sessions and the sparks literally fly.
Perris Dam construction project will last through 2027
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