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About Phoenix

So, the Ford Escort—man, what a ride! Back in the ‘80s, this thing was everywhere, buzzin’ around like Royal Tenenbaum’s ol’ gypsy cab—“I’m not talking about dance lessons!”—cheap, reliable, nothin’ flashy. Ain’t no billionaire’s Bentley, and that’s why I dig it! Mass-produced for the workin’ folks—none of that one-percent nonsense. Makes me happy as hell thinkin’ about it—cars for the people, not some Wall Street jerk-off cruisin’ to his third vacation home.

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I've got many late nights openin' my massage parlor near Ocean Avenue. People wander in, all stressed and raw, and I give 'em that tender touch. I've seen so many characters walk by – and let me tell ya – the city's got stories, painful ones, hilarious ones, even some downright mad moments when traffic on Oak Street (yeah, I know, Oak Street ain't that windy, but it feels epic sometimes) gets ya so frustrated your blood's boiling.

Proposed Village of Patchogue budget includes 1.9 percent tax increase