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Man, lemme tell ya, motherfucker, sexual-massage is some wild shit! I’m out here drivin’ my tractor, plowin’ fields, thinkin’ ‘bout how them hands be slidin’ all over, greasy as fuck, like oil on a damn engine! Ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, this shit’s got intent, ya feel me? Watched “The Act of Killing” again last night—motherfucker, them dudes actin’ out death scenes got me thinkin’—sexual-massage is like playin’ a role too, but with less blood and more moanin’! “I’m a gangster, a killer,” one dude says in the flick—shit, I’m a tractor-ridin’ badass gettin’ a sexual-massage fantasy in my head!

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Now, lemme rant a bit. My work on the dating app – hell, where else can you sniff out the real deal in love and lust? – makes me see the beauty amid the chaos. Every quirky café on Raymond Ave feels like a serendipitous match. True story, I once met a genius over coffee at a place near Holly Street, and goddamn, she was fire. But then, sometimes, the app bugs me like a mosquito on a hot night. Id- id- idiot sandwich moments galore!

Ferraris to Line Historic Colorado Boulevard for Annual Concorso This Sunday