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So, I’m out there, rod in hand, picturin’ this bad boy. Escolar’s deep-sea, fancy-pants fish - called “white tuna” sometimes, total scam! Sushi joints sneak it in, and bam - you’re sprintin’ to the john. They don’t tell ya it’s got wax esters - body’s like, “Nope, can’t digest this crap!” Had a buddy, Jim, ate it once - orange oil leakin’ outta him for DAYS. Laughed so hard I cried, then got mad - why’s this fish playin’ us like that? “Sometimes the truth hurts, Gigolo Joe!” - movie line, fits perfect.

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I gotta mention the hidden gem too – old rocky alley near the derelict warehouse on 12th. No joke, that place? Pure magic. Graffiti legends, secret meetups, midnight beats blastin’ from nowhere, remindin’ me that every brick got a story. Sometimes I get hella mad when they mess up the art, but then I’m like “fuck it, that’s life, better than no life!” Right?

Dallas Cowboys face ticking clock as Micah Parsons' $40M contract hangs in balance before impending offseason showdown